Saturday, August 01, 2009

Top 8 Most Badass Video Game Characters of All Time


In video games, there are heroes who live by morals and fight for what they believe is right. They are humble and fight only when necessary. Sometimes they are even hesitant to act. Then there are heroes who just want to blow shit up. They are what we call badasses. These badasses are usually pitted against impossible odds but somehow manage to kill EVERYTHING on their own. Here's my personal list of the best video game badasses.

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8. Doomguy
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Yes, the original space marine from the Doom games. And yes, that's his name. Let's start from the beginning, shall we. Doomguy was reassigned to the Martian base because he assaulted a superior officer for opening fire at civilians. He actually had the balls to beat up his superior cause he didn't like his behavior. Then the armies of Hell invade, and Doomguy takes them all by himself. Even after he manages to save everyone from death by demon, he decides to stay behind and shoot up as many demons as possible.



That's not all. He goes down to Hell itself. Yes, he actually goes strolling over to HELL, and kills EVERYTHING in his path, including the Mother Demon. Most people are afraid of going to Hell because of the eternal suffering and all that, but not the Doomguy. All he needs is his BFG to blow apart the Minions of Hell, mostly for his own amusement. It doesn't get more badass than that.

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7. Ryu Hayabusa
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All ninjas are naturally badass, so it was pretty hard choosing just one ninja for this list. Ryu Hayabusa is probably one of the most well known ninjas, and definitely the most badass. This guy manages to be all justice-y and honorable while at the time hacking his enemies to bits with his sword.



For a ninja, he really isn't very subtle. You would think he would hide in the shadows and steathily kill everyone. No, Ryu jumps out in broad day light and yells "GET SOME YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!!". He then proceeds to slaughter everyone with blood spraying and limbs flying. Defying total logic to look cool is the key to being badass.

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6. Sephiroth
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Normally, long beautiful hair and the face of Scarlett Johansson doesn't call for badass, but Sephiroth just so happens to be the perfect warrior with a monstrous 12 foot sword. Even in the face of defeat, his expression never changes from his constant "I got this" demeanor. He is so powerful that when he is in your party during a flashback in Final Fantasy VII, he takes 0 damage from literally everything. Normally that's not possible no matter how strong your characters are, but the developers wanted to make Sephiroth so badass, he takes no damage whatsoever.



Ah, and he's something of a legend amongst his 1st class Soldier peers. He fights and holds off two of the next strongest guys in Soldier without even breaking a sweat, or lifting his other arm. Forget the fact that he ends up a maniac with a God complex, anyone who can cut up a 600 foot super cannon with a few swings of his sword is badass.

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5. Akuma (Gouki)
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Akuma stands out from Street Fighter's crowd of eccentric ethnic stereotypes as being one of the only guys that doesn't mind a little killing his opponent. Sometimes its hard to believe he's even human. Just look at the guy. Not only is he massive, but he has shark-like teeth, glowing red eyes, the facial structure of Lucifer, and red hair spiked up to look like the flames of hell. His appearance is enough to intimidate anyone enough to make their penis invert, but his fighting style is specially designed for quick, violent kills.



His trademark move is the Shungokusatsu (or Raging Demon), which is so badass, you can't even see it. That's not a joke either. When the move lands, Akuma telepathically turns off all the lights, creates several dozen flashes of light, then lights up the whole room with a huge kanji so you can see his opponent's lifeless body on the ground. He used this move to brutally murder M.Bison in Street Fighter 2, which defies the traditional rule of heroes honorably defeating final villains. Ryu just walked away, leaving Akuma the opportunity to beat the soul out of Bison. He is the pinnacle of martial arts badass.

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4. Gordon Freeman
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Gordon Freeman is not a legendary soldier, or a martial artists, or a ninja, or a demon slayer. This guy is a fucking scientist. And no, he's not secretly an assassin either. He's just a plain old physicist with dorky glasses. After an experiment goes horribly wrong, an inter dimensional portal opens that releases hostile aliens. The aliens kill everyone in sight, but not Gordon Freeman. Freeman grabs a crow bar and proceeds to beat the shit out of every grotesque monster he sees.



He's untrained and doesn't have super weapons like the Doomguy, he just grabs whatever he sees and kills whatever he sees. He somehow manages to survive the whole incident and actually goes over to the alien homeworld, where he kills the freaking leader and brings down the bastards. Ever seen a scientist do that? I don't think so. This one is gifted with the art of Badass.

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3. Dante
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Most heroes tend to be honorable, humble, and...well, heroic. Dante is the exact opposite of that. He's arrogant, sarcastic, and has a huge attitude problem. His job literally has him looking for trouble, as he is a professional demon slayer. And every time he faces a demon who looks like it could chew him up and shit him out in 15 different pieces, Dante chooses to sarcastically mock it. This doesn't lead to much trouble either, since Dante is a half-demon capable of cutting down an army of demons with the blades they just stabbed him with.



Being the son of the legendary Sparda, Dante can brush off 10 swords in his stomach like it were a bug bite, mostly because nothing can really kill him. He also has super strength and some badass handling of his dual handguns and sword. Badassery calls for style, and Dante reeks of it.

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2. Solid Snake
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Ah, the legendary soldier, Solid Snake. Unlike most of the guys on this list, Snake can kill you without even alerting you to the fact that there's someone else in the room. He is the master of stealth espionage and a fierce combatant. He can think on his feet and sneak his way out of any situation. Snake is the perfect soldier.



The Metal Gear games have always been centered around a walking tank so powerful it could have the entire world at its mercy. Its said that it can launch nukes from anywhere on Earth and that it is essentially indestructible. The thing is, they keep making new ones because it keeps getting destroyed by one man fighting alone: Solid Snake. And he doesn't fight with his own giant weapon of destruction, he fights on his feet and with his own two hands. That's enough to tell you how deadly and badass Snake is.

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1. Kratos
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Kratos is constantly angrier than a muthafucker, and he doesn't exactly live by a code of ethics. That being said, nothing stops him from killing everything in his path to get retribution. Kratos' strength is inhuman, and utilizes two knives that have been chained up and seared into his arm flesh. With this power, he can pull Medusa's head off, shove a blade down a minotaur's throat, pull an eye out of a cyclops, cut the heads off a Hydra, and kill gods.



Yes, he has killed numerous Greek gods on several occasions. There really is no stopping him from getting what he wants, considering this feat is normally impossible. He's even brutally killed classic Greek heroes like Perseus and Theseus. He doesn't care about your culture's heroes and folklore, he'll kill it anyway. It doesn't matter if you are a 400 foot statue come to life or the freaking god of war, Kratos can and will kill you. And he won't be subtle about it either.


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